Blogs » Community » ABORTION: THE NON DEBATE


  • A few weeks ago before the supreme court ruling about Roe v Wade took place I was having lunch with this young lady in her late twenties. We got along great. Non stop laughter. Even our serious conversations couldn't survive our double team of riffing back and forth ending in hilarity and hysterical laughter. If we weren't zinging each other with tasteless insults we were brutally mocking society and it's approach to the mundane. 
    Earlier on she let me know she was seeing someone before I asked her out and I inquired what type of guy he was. Apparently he was 'sweet' had a good job and loved her. I told her she should stay with him then and was content to leave it at that. But she kept coming around and hanging out because we always had a great time talking. I began to notice that although this was supposed to be a friendly thing she kept engaging in conversation one would have when planning on starting a relationship. Even though we never stopped with the jokes some serious questions would slip in.
    She asked about how many partners I had and then I asked about hers. She said she had four total which she bounced around to and no one else. I retorted, 'so you were a hoe then?'. Of course she let several zingers fly my way and we continued as we normally do. Then she asked something no one has ever asked before, 'have you ever gotten anyone pregnant?'. I noticed the wording on this, told her 'no' and asked if she'd ever been pregnant. She said 'once'. Apparently it was with her first boyfriend, a high school sweet heart. She said she told him she was getting an abortion and didn't give him a chance to reply. Years later after they separated he told her how he felt about that. I asked if she would have changed looking back on it and she said she still would have done it, she just would have given him a chance to speak.
    This made me feel some kinda way. I get that rape is a problem. I get that sometimes women are given a choice of having a child and being told they have over a 50% chance of dying during child birth or abort. I'm aware there are some folks who are informed that their child will more than likely be born with defects that will essentially leave them in a situation where they must be cared for their entire life being likened to a vegetable state or abort. I get all that and it's the worst realities of life. So yeah, it seems like common sense to me if the hard decision is made so be it.
    But then there's the majority. The majority of folks get pregnant because one or both of the partners did not have protection while having sex. Like... that's it. Biological fact, if a man and a woman have sex the woman will get pregnant. We learned that in depth in high school. Leaving religion and spirituality out of it, a human life is created when a sperm and an egg combine. Period. 
    So when I hear that there a millions of folks who are up in arms over abortion I look at it in what I think is a slightly different way. A responsible way. And when I hear, 'men need to shut up because it's a woman's body and her right to choose' I think that's disturbing at worst and quantifiably stupid at worst. Just because you own the gun doesn't mean the bullets are yours. Half of that life that was created was by a man, and thus the decision is shared equally, not just for the person who has to go through the process.
    I whole heartedly am against the government telling anyone what they should do. That's just crazy in this context. That being said, I'm also whole heartedly against this mass ignorance of pretending that elephant over there in the corner is quite noticeable and is willfully being shut out the conversation. If an abortion is had because folks chose not to be responsible using that as a tool to fix that irresponsibility and rebranding it as a rights and choice issue is sick and disgusting. We live in a day and age now where we can see folks who became the most successful people in the world because even though they were not planned their parents or a guardian took on the responsibility of parenthood i.e. raising that child successfully.
    This is the first soap box I've ever jumped on for this issue and it will probably be my last. But it has to be said.

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