What goes through my mind:

I have engulfed myself with soooo much knowledge and honestly only have skimmled the surface, that no matter the "Success" I gain I feel less than.
There is a downside to "Waking Up" and it is much darker than living with your mind on hibernation.
A day or a few a month I will cry on my way to work due to thoughts of people lost, opportunities squandered or just failures (what I would consider such).
Then it appears that no matter how hard or genuine I work at "making it" there is a cap and it comes when I refuse to be a bootlicker...


What do I say to my kids when I have nothing saved?
Or do I save now and limit there enjoyment of life?
How do I look at myself with the real memories of all the things I let slip.

Then I remember Siddhartha "Buddha" Gautama.
This world is not of my own doing.
My mistakes are steps need to finish, it is when I choose to walk backwards into them that I fail..
Attachment... Attachment.. Attachment.

None of this is "REAL" It is on loan until I shake the Makers hand or lie in her embrace