Takotsubo

I can break my own heart 
All over again for you…
Piece by piece 
I can shatter myself completely 
If you just turn around 
To see me 
I can pass away 
And then come back to life 
If you could stand watchin me

I have loved you for so long 
It does slaughter my chest…
People asked me why do i keep cryin
For you, cos I thought I could make you stay
I thought my tears will alarm you 
But it never did….

I never stop and think 
I’m hurtin myself 
I’m stubborn….
Look at my soul 
It’s been prayin for yours to stand near…
Yet I knew deep down you ain’t mine 
I shuff that voice down 
And I got this belief I do get what i want…
And what I want is to love me back…

I beg 
I plead 
I stalk
Just to have you change your mind 
I want you to leave your girl
And fall in love with me instead….

you give me a strong no….
I cry 
I cry harder
You walk away 
Now

I got takotsubo
I got myself there 
and I’m sick 
I can’t survive without you 

Why can’t I be with you?
Why can’t I love you?
Why can’t you love me?

Yet a man 
Watches me 
Givin you my all
Someone told me 
He secretly loves me 
But he’s not you….

Years later 
I’m stuck on you 
I didn’t give him a chance 
I regret cos I let another woman 
Take him…
You see I turn down the other men 
For you 
Still, you don’t acknowledge 
I’m here….
You go with your wife 
Holdin her hand….

Takotsubo 
Has led me 
To hospital 
My heart is unwell….
Can’t move my bones 
Cos I have carried my obsession 
Of us for decades….
I let my Mr. Right slipped on by
I wanted you 
I don’t wanna be alone 
I ignored common sense 
Consequences became my family 

Didn’t 
Learn my lesson 
I didn’t wanna hear that 
You never love me
You love me as a friend 
That was all…
I couldn’t make you admire me 
I couldn’t force you to choose me…

This is why I got 
Takotsubo 
I stay in the patient’s room 
For a long time…
My therapist asked me 
Gently 
Why can’t I let go? 
I didn’t answer 
I just cry
I knew why…

I won’t admit 
Not only to myself 

I won’t heal til 
You love me, too…
I will wait forever and ever 
Til you come and say your apologies 
From your vessel…
~
Is it a broken heart disability?
Some kind of Takotsubo?
Where you never understand 
That somebody doesn’t unrequited love 
Seriously?
You go on and on
Sayin he loves me
He never loves you in that way 
You do know that, 
But in your mind 
It’s not your reality….
I’m not givin you a diagnosis 
I’m speakin of observation 
Cos people don’t like pain 
So they will gaslight and manipulate others 
To love them back….
Like a love spell…
However they use words and actions 
To create different love bombs….
I feel like there’s somethin wrong with you 
A deception on your part….

Why would you wanna waste your time and energy 
On someone who doesn’t feel the same way?
There are too many people on earth 
You forget that there are good men who want to date you 
To court you to marry you….
Don’t give up cos it’s possible….
You just have to let your crush go for good…
I know you don’t wanna hear that 
I don’t, either 
Though it’s unhealthy you create fantasies and high expectations 
On someone who rarely looks your way….
Stop being hopeful about that person who will hold your hand….

You don’t deserve Takotsubo….
You don’t need to break your heart over and over 
For a man whose eyes are on his woman…
And why the fuck would you be a sidechick?
Are you that desperate?
Girl, bye….
It won’t work 
He will never pick you….

You’re goin to get sick 
Not just in your mind 
But your body as well…
You end up at the hospital 
And maybe wards 
You can’t fathom that this man 
Ain’t goin to be your Romeo forever….

Sorry but not sorry
Ya it’s harsh 
This is the truth….
Nothin you can do 

But to take care of yourself 
Start lovin you 
Start healin your inners 
Movin on is the most healthiest thing you can do…

Maybe one day 
You find Mr.  Right 
Who loves you too…
This time there’s no beggin
No Takotsubo at that…
💯♥️©️ Kai C. 5-15-26