*showing up late to brunch with the women in my life*

Me: sorry I'm late, I don't know if I'm coming or going....

Kim: you're going, cause when you're coming, you sound like a deaf guy stubbing his toe on the corner of the bed 😏

My mom: 👀

My mother in law: 👀

My niece: 👀

My other niece: 🤔

Our waiter: 👀

My Sister: 🤣🤣🤣