I went through my flashbacks
While brushin my teeth….
I was thinkin about the conversation
That I had back then
With an ex bes friend

She told me that the
Police needs respect…
So technically if I mistaken

She doesn’t wanna hear
About how black people are being
Mistreated by cops

We were on the phone
Talkin about Mike brown
Or Trayvon martin
At the time…. I feel like as a black person
Despite my disability, I see

People who looks like me gettin
Killed in America, United States…..
I see why black people cannot trust
Slave patrols… yes I said slave patrols
Cos they snatched our lives away….

Maybe i shouldn’t trust them….
She said they’re the ones who protect the
Community, somethin along these words
Cos it’s a hard job…but what about a

Melaninated life?
Do I matter?
And the fact she doesn’t like the poem
I wrote on Facebook about a black boy being shot
By a cop….
Yet at the time she put me in my place
She said it was the media that builds up

So much division…

I look back on that memory
On the phone
With her statement
She doesn’t see color….
She doesn’t see pain in black people….
And I’m black…..

At the time
I didn’t explain myself cos I don’t know
What to say….
I didn’t think of a comeback,
No words
Nothin…..

First of all
What i said is true
And again
She’s white
She doesn’t live like that
She doesn’t have to experience
Being black…
Being shot down by a cop
Or being brutally beaten by a cop….

I can see white privilege
All written in her tone,
In her firm,

It’s not the media….
It’s racism……

Black people will never trust cops
Even if there’s a good one….
There is too much corruption….

And I wonder after George Floyd situation,
If she ever changed her mind about
What i said on the phone long ago
Cos

I said along those discussions
I can’t trust the police and why…..

Black people have this kind of
Anxiety
This kind of heavy breakdown
Cos they don’t wanna die
They don’t wanna lose their loved ones…

And she doesn’t have that trauma….
She can live, she can breathe….
It’s not the media, it’s the system….

The system that has her back all the time….

I should have said that to her face…
Back in the day
I didn’t…I left it alone….

💯✊🏿©️ Kai C. 6-7-23

I think I have written this type of poem before in other words. It’s true. I thought about our conversation on the phone between my ex best friend and I about the police. I don’t think she gets it. Or maybe she does know what’s going on. Black people are afraid of the police. That’s our traumatic experiences. Even some work in the station who has that fear. White people doesn’t have to deal with fear of the police. They get to live and walk away free while black men who are innocent being in prison through mass incarceration. Black people have the right not to trust the cops cos they fear of death…police brutality is another practice of genocide if you ask me. I understand the job is difficult. I understand there are good cops. However don’t ever tell black people to trust the police. Don’t ever encourage us to put our faith in their hands…cos officers have too much blood.don’t even tell us that they deserve their respect, too. How are we going to respect them when they are killing us? I don’t feel like I’d have respect for them. To white people, if you have a black friend or black friends, please understand where they are coming from when it comes to police officers. Don’t tell them they have to trust them. Gotta know they have the right to live. Don’t be ignorant.