*Kim and I at the couple's therapist*

Therapist: Derek, you have consistently said that Kim is smarter than you, what questions do you ask her to quantify that position?

Kim: Here we go.....

Me: ok, Kim, is coochie a fruit or a vegetable?

Therapist: 😮

mummify

Mississippi

I come from a state where I pay taxes on roads that could knock a tampon out a nun