"Your ancestors died for your right to vote!"

2 things wrong with that statement;

One, my ancestor Buck was hung and shot when he tried to kill his enslavers after they sold off his family in 1836, it wasn't for the vote

Two, they didn't "die" they were "murdered" cause they believed that voting is what all free people did.

Don't shame me into that "lesser of two evils" bullshit, after all I know my history.

My wife was feeling insecure, so I thought I'd cheer her up.

Me: there is no woman on EARTH that I love more than you😍

Kim: what about the other PLANETS Derek!? I'm sure if you saw a chick from Venus with a fat ass, you'd love her more, huh fucker!?

Me: