Kim: screenshots don't lie, Derek!

Me: screenshots do lie, because I was lying when I texted you.

Funerals are waaaaay too expensive, air fry me when it's my time.

Really quickly ... I need an app speed rating of 1-10

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In black households, the first slice of bread stays in the bag till it meets the last slice of bread.

Don't be the bigger person today. Be the person that helps them understand that sometimes when you fuck around you find out.